For the child, in love with maps and prints,

The world is the size of his vast appetite.
How big the world is by the light of lamps!
In the eyes of memory, how small it is!

Baudelaire

The Map and the Territory

Saul Steinberg

THE MAP

Land lies in water; it is shadowed green.
Shadows, or are they shallows, at its edges
showing the line of long sea-weeded ledges
where weeds hang to the simple blue from green.
Or does the land lean down to lift the sea from under,
drawing it unperturbed around itself?
Along the fine tan sandy shelf
is the land tugging at the sea from under?

The shadow of Newfoundland lies flat and still.
Labrador’s yellow, where the moony Eskimo
has oiled it. We can stroke these lovely bays,
under a glass as if they were expected to blossom,
or as if to provide a clean cage for invisible fish.
The names of seashore towns run out to sea,
the names of cities cross the neighboring mountains
–the printer here experiencing the same excitement
as when emotion too far exceeds its cause.
These peninsulas take the water between thumb and finger
like women feeling for the smoothness of yard-goods.

Mapped waters are more quiet than the land is,
lending the land their waves’ own conformation:
and Norway’s hare runs south in agitation,
profiles investigate the sea, where land is.
Are they assigned, or can the countries pick their colors?
–What suits the character or the native waters best.
Topography displays no favorites; North’s as near as West.
More delicate than the historians’ are the map-makers’ colors.

Elizabeth Bishop

The Map and the Territory

David Shrigley

The Map and the Territory

A profile of Ellroy published a few years ago mentioned his plot outlines: The Black Dahlia’s ran to 142 pages (the book itself is 358 pages long in paperback) and that of L.A. Confidential to 211 (the paperback has 496). At the time, he had just finished the outline for Tabloid; it came to 345 pages, while the book itself runs a mere 576. This is reminiscent of Borges’s famous map which is the same size as the country it describes.

Luc Sante

[mask] doll [puppet]

Sapi3512

opening lines

“May I, monsieur, offer my services without running the risk of intruding?”

The Fall
Camus

[mask] doll [puppet]

c a r o l i n e*

opening lines

It is a long trip. We are the only riders.

The Ticket That Exploded
Burroughs

[mask] doll [puppet]

Barbie and Jamal

opening lines

Once an angry man dragged his father along the ground through his own orchard. “Stop!” cried the groaning old man at last, “Stop! I did not drag my father beyond this tree.”

The Making of Americans
Gertrude Stein

[mask] doll [puppet]

Sapi3512

opening lines

Nous voici encore seuls.

(Here we are, alone again.)

Death on the Installment Plan
Céline

[mask] doll [puppet]

Lazybones

opening lines

It was the afternoon of my eighty-first birthday, and I was in bed with my catamite when Ali announced that the archbishop had come to see me.

Earthly Powers
Anthony Burgess

It’s Valentine’s Day!

Because

FEBRUARY 13, 1975

Tomorrow is St. Valentine’s:
tomorrow I’ll think about
that. Always nervous, even
after a good sleep I’d like
to climb back into. The sun
shines on yesterday’s new-
fallen snow and yestereven
it turned the world to pink
and rose and steel-blue
buildings. Helene is restless:
leaving soon. And what then
will I do with myself? Some-
one is watching morning
TV. I’m not reduced to that
yet. I wish one could press
snowflakes in a book like flowers.

James Schuyler

exercises in suffering

Because

They’re not our cats. They’re MY cats. You are never going to see them again.

exercises in suffering

Paolo and Francesca

Edmund Wilson’s marriage to Mary McCarthy

was a mistake that neither side wanted to be first to admit. When they fought, he would retreat into his study and lock the door; she would set piles of paper on fire and try to push them under it.

Louis Menand

exercises in suffering

Paolo and Francesca

There you lay, your small, white

body throbbing in my hand
like a bird. We were silent.
The right word was not needed.

James Tate

exercises in suffering

Jon J. Muth

Another Saturday night in front of my computer Googling girls from my middle-school class.

exercises in suffering

September 18, 1918

(847): I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend’s twin last night...and he didn’t stop me.

(1-847): How was it?
(847): Fantastic, but that’s not the point.

textsfromlastnight

exercises in suffering

on a motorcycle

My conversational French audio course has taken a dark turn.

How would you ask her if she would like to drink something with you?

Est-ce que vous voudriez boire quelquechose avec moi, mademoiselle?

How does she correct you, saying “Not mademoiselle, madame”?

Pas mademoiselle. Madame.

Say “Sorry, ma’am.”

Pardon, madame.

Say “But would you like to drink something with me”?

Mais est-ce vous voudriez boire quelquechose avec moi?

How does she say “No thank you, sir”?

Non merci, monsieur.

Say “Not now.”

Pas maintenant.

How does she say “And not later”?

Et pas plus tard.

Ask “But at one o’clock, OK?”

Mais à une heure, d’accord?

She says “Not OK.”

Pas d’accord.

Ask “At two o’clock”?

Á deux heures?

She says “No thank you, I do NOT want to.”

Non merci, je ne veux pas.

Say “Later, at eight o’clock, OK?”

Plus tard, à huit heures, d’accord?

She says “No, sir. Not OK.”

Non, monsieur. Pas d’accord.

Say “Or at nine o’clock?”

Ou à neuf heures?

She answers “Absolutely not.”

Absoluement pas.

Ask “At what time?”

Á quel heure?

How does she answer “No, sir, I do NOT want to drink something with you?”

Non, monsieur, je ne veux pas boire quelquechose avec vous.

“Absolutely not.”

Absoluement pas.

Say “Oh, I understand now.”

Ah, je comprends maintenant.

She says “Very good, you understand now!”

Tres bien, vous comprenez maintenant!

Say “Yes, you don’t want to drink something with me.”

Oui, vous ne voulez pas boire quelquechose avec moi.

Say “But you would like to EAT something with me.”

Mais vous voudriez MANGER quelquechose avec moi.

Add “At the restaurant.”

Au restaurant.

Ask “At eight o’clock or at nine o’clock”?

Á huit heures ou à neuf heures?

She says “Not at one o’clock and not at two o’clock.”

Pas à une heure et pas à deux heures.

She adds for good measure “Not at eight o’clock and not at nine o’clock.”

Pas à huit heures et pas à neuf heures.

Ask “At what time”?

Á quel heure?

She says “You don’t understand, sir.”

Vous ne comprenez pas, monsieur.

Try to ask her “What don’t I understand?”

Qu’est-ce que je ne comprends pas?

She answers “You don’t understand French, sir!”

Vous ne comprenez pas le français, monsieur!